The Ties That Bind

I can't pretend that I'm not extraordinarily close to my external family members. The closest I can come to saying that is in regards to my eccentric uncle in New Mexico. For some reason, I feel closest to him. Maybe it's because he, like me, moved far away from his immediate family to create his own life, and I'm essentially following suit. Aunts and Uncles from both sides of my family almost always seem like strangers to me. Every time I see them, be it holidays or funerals, I learn who they are all over again. I ask my parents "now, which one of your sisters/brother is the crazy one?" "Who got divorced/remarried/arrested recently?" It drives me insane. How is it that people have the capability to be so close to their cousins? Majority of the people I work with are always talking about how they hang out with their cousins...raise their cousins kids....celebrate things with cousins... I don't get it. I grew up seeing my external family maaaaybe twice a year. 3 times if there was a funeral. Sick, yes, but that's how we rolled. I'm not close to them. I'm not close to majority of my family really, save for the 4 Radford I share DNA with..How do you do it? I don't even have anyone's number. Family? Define it. Is it genetic or social? Cheers, Ennui

My Vagina, My Rules

Dear Representatives of the American People, A word, if you will:

You sit oh so proudly in your house surrounded by others of like mind and bandy about ideas on how the people, society, should act and conduct itself. You are protected by voters and campaign funds, thinking only of your personal agenda. Lately there has been much talk about federally governing the distribution of birth control, ending the availability of abortions, and thusly forcing women in some states to undergo a PROBING to get an abortion, even in cases of rape or incest. It's appalling to think that one day, potentially in this year, an election year, my rights and rights of choice can be snatched away. I don't want to think what will happen to future generations of women if this restriction and wanton control of individuals is allowed to continue. There are men like Gingrich, Santorum, and Romney walking this earth claiming they know what's right for Women because they say so. I disagree. I asked my vagina what she thinks, because I've been hanging with her for 22 years now, and I want to know her opinion on how we run. This is what she wanted me to tell you, America:

Stay the fuck out of me. You've never met me. You don't know what I want and what I need. I've never wanted to be raped, but the idea of you "Representatives" wanting to strip me of my rights and right of choice sure fucking feels like I'm being raped.

So stay the fuck out of my business, get out of my tubes, and let me be. You may be feeling threatened because I want to abort the potential next president of the US; but if that potential president thinks like you, then he or she deserves to die. You don't control me.