I am all sorts of bat-shit crazy. There are certain parts of and about me that just sometimes choose not to make sense. For instance, I'm a messy neat freak. Everything in its chaos has to be organized in some way, otherwise I lose my shit. I'm obsessive compulsive with numbers. I count things like its my job. Windows, ceiling panes, wall sockets, doors, stairs, don't get me started on stairs. I've counted the stairs in my parent's house so many times, I can tell you exactly where the creaks are, where the carpet is pulled up, and which coffee stains are my dad's.
In another area, that one we all know, I'm even worse. Relationships are the one thing that I seem to have a firm grasp on for other people, but don't have a clue for myself. It's as if I think that my situation is far more to the extreme than others. Let me give you an example about how I work in this area, which, in a sense, will tell you the kind of guy I'm into, further proving my brand of crazy: I like a guy who doesn't like to cuddle. Cuddling gets too hot and I can't sleep when I'm hot. Simple. A guy has to be able to keep up with my mental train of thought, otherwise he'll get lost and I don't backtrack. He can't expect me to dress up everytime we go out. I wear jeans and tee shirts, guys, not dresses and heels, and my hair is pulled in a rubber band most of the time. I like a guy who has bad habits- typical bad habits, nothing law-breaking; geez I'm not that nuts. He's got to recognize that I'm busy with my life and my life comes first in any relationship.
Furthering that topic, I don't want to get married or have kids. Yes, I'll remain in a monogamous relationship for an extended amount of time, even til I die, but I just don't need to go through the ritual of marriage. I feel its a dated procedure that couples go through mainly for the tax break. And kids are a whole nother ball game. I'm not giving birth. Forget it. My idea if kids ever enter my life is to adopt. There are thousands of kids out there that came first, who need a good home, and far be it from me to deny a child a home if they're in need. Its not my place to increase the population when I could be taking care of what we have now. Keep in mind, this won't happen for many many years if I can avoid it, so let's just move on, shall we?
I'm crazy. I realize this. Its hard not to be when you come from two ex-hippies with their background. Being the daughter of someone like my dad isn't easy when you consider who he is and what he does and what he deals with day in and day out. Bat-shit-crazy.
